Food Misconstrued
By Pier Angeli B. Ang Sen
Working for a food distribution company, Werdenberg International Group of Companies for around six years has given me so much to thank for:
First , I was able to send money to my parents and help send siblings to school.
Second , I was able to touch, smell, see, taste and experience, even in their smallest portions:
Champagne, Caviar, Truffles and Foie Gras.
Taittinger Champagne
Beluga Caviar
Mushroom Truffles
Rougie Foie Gras
Third, I gained something more precious than those four:
And Last, amidst the pressure and stress of workload that comes with the job and all jobs for that matter, I had my share of funnies:
Over the phone orders and dictation was quite a challenge in my former company.
One time my french boss Mr. J.C. Chavanon dictated some cheeses to me,
He started with Italian,
Gorgonzola
Mascarpone
Mozzarella
Scarmoza
Parmeggiano Reggiano
Ricotta
Cambozola
Then the French Ones,
Bleu d’ Auvergne ( blu duh vern)
Fourme d’Ambert ( form de amber)
Roquefort ( rock four)
Livarot ( livarooh)
Then he said…
“Sample in, Pork Saluuh“
That is where we parted ways…
Me: “Sample in Pork Saluuh? ( huh?)”
“Sample in what? For what? For whom?”
“And in Pork?”
( Yey, my “Duu Yawha Vaca” moments in this company, if you could kindly check my blog post entitled ” Job Interview Anecdotes“)
http://pierangeliangsen.blogspot.com/2011/05/job-interview-anecdotes.html
Me: “We are talking cheeses sir? But why?… PORK? And SAMPLE It IN?”
My boss stared at me for a long five seconds…..
Boss: “N. G. .,” ( that was how he said “Angie” which was so cool) ,
“WHAT are you talking about ?”
Me: ” Well Sir , You just said Sample in …Pork Saluuh ?Didn’t you?”
Boss: “Haay, N.G. .” ( sighs)
And he was kind enough to write it down for me:
Saint Paulin ( Sample In)
Port Salut ( Pork Saluuh..)
My French 11 in college never stood a fighting chance against these cheeses:
However, I was consoled with the fact that I was not alone in that kind of ordeal…
I, one time , received an in house call from a Dispatch Supervisor whom we fondly called Tito Rod.
And it was not one of our fond moments:
Supervisor: “Ano Ga tong mga customer nyo dito?” ( in his Batangas blade Accent).
(“What is it with your customers“?).
( Batangas is a city in the Philippines where people have their unique Filipino accent)
Me: Bakit po Tito Rod ? ( Why Tito Rod ?)
Supervisor:
“Yung Customer nyo ga, andito nag pi-pick up ng order niyang Chippolata Sausage ,
tinatanong ako kung bakit ereng Chippolata ay hindi nakalagay sa lata!”
“Pakisabahinan nyo yung mga customers nyo, na bagaman,
ang salitang Chippolata ay may Lata sa dulo.
Hindi po siya Chippo na nakaLATA…
Ang Chippolata sa kanyang pamamayagpag ay naka vacuum , PLASTIC BAG!”
( “Your customer who is picking up his order of Chippolata Sausage is asking me down here
Why the Chippolata is not contained in a can?”
“Can you please tell your customers that , although it has something that sounds like lata,
( for “lata” in the Filipino language means can..).
It is not Chippo in a can…The Chippolata , in all it’s glory is placed in a vacuumed, PLASTIC BAG..!”.
My former company Werdenberg International Corporation also went with the acronym
W.I.C.
We have beautiful and hardworking telephone operators there;
try calling on Christmas time you will hear this:
“Happy Holidays, Werdenberg Goodmorning, Grace speaking!”
It was Christmas time and a very angry Chef was on the other line:
( which happened to be a regular occurrence there during the holidays..)
“Grace , what is wrong with you guys, I sent my Assistant there to pick up my beef
and Now he is calling me and telling me that there was no order and you do not have beef…
I need that for tonight’s special menu!”
Operator-Grace:
“But Chef, we do have Beef!…Alright Chef, I will go downstairs , I will look for your assistant, myself “
After well , “seventy years ” the assistant whom Chef said “was downstairs trying to pick
up his beef for him” was no where to be found.
He most definitely was not there!
Even then with a SEARCH PARTY including the operator herself, the company guard, the supervisor
from dispatch, the girls from marketing & sales and I could not remember who else was looking for the assistant,
he just was not anywhere near the four corners of the building…
Operator-Grace to Me:
” Anj, May mas mababa pa ba, sa downstairs ng building ,maliban sa alam nating downstairs?“
(“Anj, does our building have any other downstairs lower than the present downstairs, that we know of ?”)
Me to Grace:
“Hmmmm, hiram ka nga ng blueprint ng building kay Sir Joey, building administrator,
baka may dungeon tayong makikita duon.”
(“Hmmm, let’s try borrowing a blueprint of the building from Sir Joey, the building
administrator, may be a dungeon will show up there”)
THEN…
The Chef called back, chuckling,
” Oh Grace, my assistant and I had a miscommunication, he will soon be on his way there.”
WHY?
Apparently, when Chef declared to his assistants that he needed someone to pick up his beef for
him at W.I.C. near Pasong Tamo Street,
one person eagerly volunteered without him being given directions..
And he truly assured Chef that he knows this place near Pasong Tamo Street…
In addition to that though, Chef placed too much stress in pronouncing the letters that it
sounded like…”
” THEE.
DOUBLE.
YOU.
AY.
ZZZ” ( near Pasong Tamo Street..)
So which is why there would be no chance that the Chef’s missing assistant will be located by the entourage of searchers from
W.I.C.
Address: 7431 Yakal Street, San Antonio Village (near Pasong Tamo St.), Makati City
It was because at that precise moment when a group of people were scouring the company building
for proof of life,
somewhere on the other side of Pasong Tamo Street,
the chef’s missing assistant was demanding for that One Whole Slab of Angus Ribeye;
AT:
D.W.I. Z
AM radio
882 khz
Address: 5F, Dominga Bldg., Pasong Tamo, Makati City
– Posted using BlogPress from Pier Angeli Ang Sen’s iPad2
MATTER: Anything that occupies space and has mass. 